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Friday, August 06, 2010

That damned Vacation

What's Mallard raving about today

The same things, as always.

But I am on vacation, and have no intention of reading Mallard Fillmore.

Have fun in the comments!


Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Tinsley IS aware that his precious robber-baron capitalism wouldn't FUNCTION if people didn't get into massive debt, isn't he?

Pft. Who am I kidding? I know he's not actually thinking about the philosophical implications of anything he writes. That would involve thinking. No, he's just taking yet another opportunity to rave about how average Americans who need a break not a lecture are weak-willed, fat, debt-ridden pigs due to the inexcusable sin of allowing omnipresent, absolutely unavoidable sociocultural norms to have an effect on them. Because he's an asshole.

But hey, maybe if he wants to go this route, he should do a comic about some people who REALLY deserve it: I'm talking, of course, about those worthless fucking drunk drivers. Seriously, what kind of slovenly, alcoholic pile of runny dogshit would put innocents at risk by getting behind the wheel when completely hammered? Unlike the things in today's strip, which are essentially victimless non-crimes, this is a REAL crime with REAL victims. So what's wrong with these disgusting subhumans? Haven't they ever heard of personal responsibility? This is the kind of thing you're talking about, right, Tinsley? Right?

deepbeep said...

So his solution to all these problems is what, exactly? If everyone makes decisions independent of cultural influences, as he is suggesting, then the only conclusion we can draw is that Americans are idiots. Must be just a coincidence that the number of obese Americans coincided with corn derivatives taking over most affordable food. Nope, we're all morons who, through our perfectly rational decision making processes, decide to become obese by 12, hooked on nicotine by 18 and under a mountain of debt by 22.

With the development of sociology and neuroscience, this Cartesian dualist view of mind is demonstratively false, outdated and frankly idiotic. Also, what GeoX said. I'll gladly take 1000 cigarette smokers over just 1 drunk driver.

exanonymous said...

Stupid liberals, not taking personal responsibility for themselves.

Never mind the fact that cigarettes are purposely made to be addictive so that "trying them out" usually leads to multiple packs a day for the rest of your life, the credit cards are pushed by everyone for everything to the point where employees are fired if they do not open enough accounts at retail outlets, and fast food costs much less than healthy food and has by the glories of capitalism worked its way into our schools systems so that elementary schools now have vending machines.

Free market, hooray! It's cheaper and faster to make, sell, and buy crap, so it will always dominate as long as you have two people pressed for time or money for every one educated person with time to research.

Rootbeer said...

Oh look, it's Jeremy from "Zits", as a middle-aged man!

Why is he talking about "childhood obesity" when he's at least 30 years past childhood himself, though?

dlauthor said...

Bruce Tinshley, champion of personal responsibility, will get back to blaming Obama for everything just as soon as he divers up. Stay "tooned," kids! Wakka wakka!

Kip W said...

The First Lady is against childhood obesity. So why hasn't Mallard simply come out in favor of it?

Did his knee jerk sideways today? He should have that looked at. Oh, wait. Doctors are all liberals.

wavydavy said...

Everything everybody else has said.

Plus this: Tinkley really, really has a hard time thinking straight (I know, I know: feature, not a bug). Today, we have an example of "which one does not belong?"

-- "Peer pressure" is intended by its very nature to influence the thinking and/or actions of someone.
-- "Flashy ads" are intended by their very nature to influence the thinking and/or actions of someone.
-- "Fast food" is intended by its very nature to... be eaten? Exactly how does "fast food" influence anyone's thinking and/or actions? Just by existing in the universe?

Bonus stupidity: one does not "catch" childhood (or any other age) obesity; one BECOMES obese.

WV: chingsa. The sound heard after Tinkley purchases some research -- "Ka-chings" from the cash register (because you know he does this more than once), "Aaaaahh" from Tinkley as he gets back to his "research".

rewinn said...

Junk food is nicely crafted to create cravings for more.

The reasons for this are obvious. Whether you call that addictive or not is up to you.

Anonymous said...

Rush Limbo recently commented that he is a "victim" because of his weight issues *...

* some news - oh, just Google it, he really did say that

Frank Stone said...

Looks like wavydavy beat me to it. Indeed, "One of these things is not like the other(s)."

But this is what happens when a hopeless wetbrain tries to run before he can walk, intellectually speaking.

Kaitlyn said...

Obesity can be "caught" in a way - your environment determines a lot. And guess who suffers the most? The poor!

Your parents both work 2 jobs - do they really want to cook?

You live in a poor neighborhood - is your grocery going to have good food?

And I remember seeing this somewhere - most likely the fat nutritionist - if a dollar can buy you a fast food hamburger or an apple, what would you buy? Your body needs calories, and the burger has more.

What pisses me off the most is that it costs a lot in time and money to lose weight - most low-fat stuff is more expensive, and as deepbeep said, what do you think is in your kids school lunch? It's the rare public school that has truly healthy food.

And then there's the car culture, which keeps you locked up all the time, you can't walk all over town when you're next to a highway.

Also - credit card debt is part of American capitalism. Why does Tinz hate America?

Ragging on cigarettes? Some of the most American men ever endorsed them! Marlboro used to have a cowboy! However, he'd probably bash states that have no smoking laws for restaurants and bars. (I say make at least one bar a smoker's bar, so people will STFU.) And as a non-smoker, some restaurants are just so much better without the smoke everywhere. Anyway, he'd say it's liberals controlling people or some such shit.

One more thing - some people have argued that the corn syrup in everything (even some breads, FFS!) is also addictive.

Why does he hate America?