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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

That damned spokesperson

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pirates, Spokespeople, Tolerance.

The pirates were shot by Navy Seals, pretty much to the general acclaim of the entire world (save the Republican Party's leader, Rush Limbaugh, who miraculously found a way to criticize President Obama over the incident).

So what exact tolerance is Mallard talking about?

Seriously, this may rank as one of the biggest Straw Stretches in Mallard's contortionist history.


exanonymous said...

It's even funnier because previously Rush was advocating blowing them and everyone out of the water. Obama instead opted to order a precision operation.

That being said, way to minimize the plight of the people who become pirates. Liberals don't think it's okay to be a pirate. Even the most soft-hearted pansy-pacifist straw men don't want pirates because living at sea in the conditions they endure kills people. But from a more serious perspective, one really has to examine why people would opt for piracy and why their fellow villagers would support this. Liberals want to solve the problem at it's source, not cow some people into temporarily hiding by showing them how ballsy we can be.

Raynfala said...

Today's comic is just chock full 'o analogy-fail.

12xuser said...

Isn't the Somali pirate incident inside the three-week delay for this comic? I don't think that this was meant as a response to that, just as an extended riff on the team mascot arc he started yesterday. If this is indeed a coincidence, then we could be in for something truly awful.

rewinn said...

exanonymous: I think you're missing the basic distinction:
* Liberals see a problem as something to solve.
* Conservative see a problem as a something to justify giving the aristocracy more money and power.

If you *solve* a problem, even one so distant as Somaliland, you lose another justification for F-22s , unitary executive power, and so on. Why would you want that?


As to today's "comic", Raynfala is right. Too many bad analogies. What is Mallard attacking? Silly college degrees? Mendacious spokesmen (Ari Fleischer?) Diversity? The Seattle Seafair Pirates?

Humor must be *crisp* not soggy!

Jazzbumpa said...

Blallard had gotten so stupid, making fun of him isn't even fun anymore.

This is just sad.

Robert said...

Mallard should move to the tax-free paradise that is Somalia.

dlauthor said...

I think we're all overlooking an important detail here, namely the guy's name: Dave Poindexter.

Poindexter. The subtlety just leaps out and socks you in the balls, doesn't it? What, did he decide "Geekus Q. Pencilneck" was too blatant or something? I mean, it's like if we renamed Tinshley something like "Hackworth Fallingdown-Drunque."

ObAnonymousCoward: *farts* tee hee hee!

Word verification: smimp. No definition here; I just like when the random-word generator channels Don Martin. Because it's always good to be reminded of a real cartoonist at times like this.

BakaHoushi said...

I would truly like to see a psychological evaluation of Tinsley, to understand the thought process, or lack thereof, that was used to make this monstrosity. It would be like staring into an eternal void.

Anonymous said...

While the liberals lavished praise concerning the strategy used by Obama during the Somali pirate incident, the following is what actually happened. Obama was at a loss to know what to do. BO, when our troops and in particular the Seals and their commanders are on the scene, stay the hell out of their way and let them do their job. They are the best, not you.

Anonymous said...

SEALs, not Seals. You flog yourself in shame. And don't link to your own blog to back up your argument. It's tacky.

I enjoy people who think that we just need to shoot some people to scare off those SOMALIANS. Because, if there's one nation that's adverse and not-used to the constant threat of death, it's FUCKING SOMALIA.

I wonder when people will get bored of exotic story de jour and go back to not caring about modern pirates? Swine Flu has potential, but only if people start dying in America.

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:16 p.m.
Don't attempt to write after you have been drinking for three hours. You make a complete ass of yourself.

GeoX said...

Whoa, anonymous chickenshit is opposing other people of being asses? That's almost adorable.

rewinn said...

Anon7:57's citation to a blog replete with misspellings led me to a thorough debunking of the "PURE PURSUIT INFORMATION CENTER" email.
Also of note in Anonymous Coward's blog is an April 28, 2009 comment by "Better than that" explaining in highly technical detail why PURE PURSUIT INFORMATION CENTER's story violates the laws of physics (...basically you can't take a shot over half-a-mile of open ocean and expect to hit within 18" of the target. Our SOPs quite appropriately waited until the lifeboat was stabilized in the wake of the Bainbridge...)

So, I'd like to thank Anonymous Coward for leading me to a solid debunking of him.