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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Those damned superlatives

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Barack Obama.

A 2009 Golden Ellipse bonanza!

An early 2009 contender for Worst Metaphor since dependence on foreign adjectives is as stupid a concept as I have ever heard.

Also an early contender for Highest Text-to-Image ratio, since the images of Mallard were not even strictly necessary.

Finally, a Straw Man which asserts that the media are out of step with America in terms of optimism about President Obama (man does it feel good to finally write that down!) when in fact Americans of all stripes are hopeful.

But, when you refuse to allow any dissenting opinions or data into your world view, you pretty well insure that you will become Mallard Fillmore.

And at the end of the day, no different than yesterday.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to be honest, I consider myself to be fairly cynical in terms of our leadership. But when I listened to Obamas speech I was honestly moved. He talked about the idea of an America that has obligations and duties, not just privileges and powers. That the power of our nation came truly from the citizens of it, not those in power. He also stated that if we want things to happen we have to get active ourselves, not just expect our leaders to sort things out.

I was brought back to Kennedy's Inaugural speech where he reminded us to ask what we could do for our country, not what it could do for us. I got the sense of a man who honestly seemed humbled by what he was about to take on. He talked about the importance of our allies, and that we are one nation in the world. He said that even those that wish to strike in hate, that if they are willing to open their fists we are willing to take their hand.

Maybe I'm overdoing it a bit, but what I saw and what I heard really did impress me. If his words can get others to volunteer to help others as well as hopefully be willing to work together for something better I'll be happy. Not to mention that if people feel more optimistic, mroe hopeful our odds are better at being able to get out of these economic doldrums.

I don't know what the future will bring, but I will say that today, I feel, for the first time in a while, truly and deeply proud of my nation and my president.

Brandon Kosto said...

Dear lord Tinsley you're going to be harping on the press thing all week aren't you? Get some new material please.

Anonymous said...

Let's see, it's only the press who like Obama, right?

So I assume this means that those zillions of people that I saw in those pictures of The Mall yesterday must have all been Members of the Press, right?


Bruce, it's like this.
You lost. The clear majority of the American people rejected you and your kind. Deal with it.

The bottom line is that your fight here, your real disagreement is with the American People. No one else. At least have the guts, the honesty, the integrity to stop pretending otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the press loooves Obama too much, and they have infected the populace with blind hero worship. Of course, Obama hasn't actually DONE anything yet, so there's not really anything to criticize him for yet, but that won't stop Tinsley.

As for foreign adjectives, reading this comic brings a few to mind . . . .

Kaitlyn said...

All the people at the mall...

Well, in my life, I saw many college students and professors (and people of various shades in between) STOPPING what they were doing when they passed a TV just for a few seconds even, SKIPPING FUCKING CLASS, CANCELLING FUCKING CLASSES...

That happened at schools all over the country, I think, since I saw one article about one district in Texas closing early (or for the whole day). And then I heard Memphis City Schools did nothing and just had it on, and so did most of the Shelby County ones.

Teachers want their students to see history, and everyone who voted who was aware is so full of hope...

sleep didn't erase the good feelings...

But yes, the press exists in la-la land.

Kaitlyn said...

Of course, my example comes from the world of education.

That may be bigger than the press, but still, it's pure evil. From post-grad work to pre-K.

Anonymous said...

To Kaitlyn.....

Wait, did you say that education is evil? Really!?! So, the opposite of education, ignorance, is good??? And up until now the only positive thing I'd heard said about ignorance was "bliss"... Incredible, a new standard for us to ponder.

Anonymous said...

We're already dependent on foreign adjectives, or is Mallard really so ignorant as to think English is the language granted by God to Americans?


Wait.

I don't want to know the answer to that.

Damn liberal education, teaching me about words from foreign countries.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Brucie:

Even Indiana voted for Obama. That's right, your own state. Must burn you up, huh? Well, in the words of your own kind: GET OVER IT.

Love, the Internet

Anonymous said...

Re: Education

I love me some education. I vote for every education levy. I've made sure both kids got through college. I rail against the short-sighted backward-assed Republicans who cut funding for higher education year after year. "Gimme education!", I say.

And although I'm not sure what Kaitlin was saying there, I can say that there is something about education in this country that smothers the soul. Education, at least in the elementary and secondary schools, is more about regimentation and control than it is about learning. From the stupid rules to the surveillance cameras to the hostile staff, it's not set up to be a positive experience for many students.

Michael Foley said...

If Mallard has a beef with the American people (which he does), he has a problem with the entire world. I'm up in Vancouver this week, and everyone up here was throwing parties, celebrating, and wearing Obama shirts. Even the bartenders are gushing about America's redemption. My guess is that America isn't even near the top of countries in terms of excitement, and if we were to become dependent on "foreign adjectives" Mallard would have a nervous breakdown.

Unknown said...

A foreign adjective to describe today's Mallard: pinche

Kaitlyn said...

CasualBrowser, Ex - Never post while watching TV and trying to wake up before class.

What I meant was that my example is pretty worthless to Mallard/Tinz, as he's said again and again that public education is not that great, just because it exists. (Not because of soul crushing standardized tests.)

Same with colleges. "They're liberal strongholds of communist homosexuality, blah blah blah." I don't know if I was being sarcastic or what, but no, I love education.

I just don't have any "real American" examples of joy for Mallard. Well, the press has non-government jobs, but they don't count...

Michael - Vancouver's not alone. Our school paper's "editorial" (ha!) mentioned headlines from around the world. Everyone is excited.

Kyle said...

Bruce Tinsley is a sad, bitter man. Regardless of political stripes, Obama's inauguration is a truly historic moment. And his obsession with media, as someone who is printed in newspapers nationwide, is head-scratching. I get a laugh out of Ann Coulters in bestselling books, O'Reillys on a right-slanted TV network and Tinsleys in newspapers screaming of the Liberal Media Boogieman.

And as long as someone mentioned his disdain for education,of all his misguided opinions that is the most reprehensible. OK, maybe not most, since he does have that obsession with what terms he can use in reference to other races. But still, it's maddening that a person with a national pulpit can so wrongly villify one of the most important things of society.

I went to a major university where I had liberal professors and conservative professors -- probably an equal split, and I learned things from each.

rewinn said...

Tinkley, in his sad bitter refusal to be happy, basically insulted himself in today's strip. Bear with me here,folks...

Today's strip is a basic TWO IDIOTS joke:
IDIOT #1: "Wow, you use a lot of words. Aren't you afraid you'll run out?"
IDIOT #2: "Don't worry, I can import more from the abroad."


Tinkley runs it together into a single-idiot joke, which is strange. He has a stable of other characters; a competent cartoonist would have Mr. Noseworthy and Chantel play the idiot parts while Mallard looks on and says "fap!"

Tinkley's problem is that he can't just tell a joke; he has to attack Obama and the press too (after all, no comics page editor prints Mallard for humor; it's printed for "balance".)

So he chooses to make Mallard, his alter ego, the idiot!

Heck of a job, Brucie! You're showing us all what self-destruction looks like.

"If you can't be a good example, you can always be a horrible warning!"

Anonymous said...

Kaitlyn, I got what you meant the first time. I was mocking my own education since it apparently did teach me useful things.

Anonymous said...

Tinsley is saying that big words are the tools of the foreign terrorist Communists!

Let me explain this in terms Tinsley will not understand: He is an obdurate ignoramus who can be concatenated to malfeasant men. His ideas would, when implemented, cause enormities and pandemics. Any Mallard Fillmore that appears to be humorous must, either, be apocryphal or chimerical. Every comic is bemusing, nonplussing and a plethora of horror. I would rather peruse the works of David Foster Wallace than skim one Mallard Fillmore.

Anonymous said...

I looked up the exact semantics of "superlative" and discovered Tinsley, either, said that sycophantics are the greatest guys or reversed the traditional adjective noun structure. I just love Tinsley's incredible grammar and attention to detail!