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Thursday, February 14, 2008

That damned stamp

What's Mallard raving about today?

Stimulus checks, Taxes, President Bush, Congress.

If you'd asked me, back on 07 Feb, whether I thought Mallard could ever create a worse poem than the one he barfed up on that day, I would have said "No way."

I would have been wrong. Today's vomit is jaw-droppingly bad, almost to the point of sublimity.


factinista said...

Wasn't he just talking yesterday about how the ones who get the rebate are the ones who don't pay taxes?

Number 46½? So Tinsley actually REALIZES that he pontificates about the same thing over and over. He just doesn't care.

And how is he so sure it's cold and damp everywhere this comic is read? Honestly it's been pretty nice where I live most of this week.

dlauthor said...

Ah, the old 8-9-13-9 rhyme scheme, otherwise known as moronic craptameter.

Brucie, if you didn't pay taxes, how would you have roads to drive drunk on?

BillyWitchDoctor said...


The flip-flopping and the "craptameter" (hee) have already been nailed, so I'll just note that Chantel looks more and more like a heroin addict every time she appears. You've fallen a long way, baby. That's what hanging around with Mallard will do to you...

Wait...the $1200 goes to families. Are Mallard and Chantel secretly married? Or is Tinny just really, really wrong again? Lemme think now...

(The "1/2" stands for "halfwit.")

luke said...

Um, is it like weirdly racist that Chantel is a woman of color, and yet she pictures...

Okay, never mind. I'm sleep-deprived.

Frankie Machine said...

WARNING: Rant coming!

GODDAMNIT, I don't want $600! I want my country back!

Rant ended.

I kind of agree with Tinsley here (in a round about, way). However, I think instead of $600, the government should just write off all student loans. I mean, if we're talking rebates and stimulus. I know my house would have a hell of a lot more money to spend. If the government did that, you would see this country erupt into the biggest party ever on Planet Earth. It would make V-E day look like a Sunday School picnic.

Kaitlyn said...

What does the weather have to do with anything?

And what is he doing with his hand?

Is he holding his chin so he looks smart?

I'm with you on the student loans.* Cheaper college education could lead to a smarter workforce, which would have a bigger impact than six - 6! - hundred dollars.

*in spirit, until the scholarship people realize how dumb I am.

Michael said...

Chantel used to be black. Now she's either a Chinese heroin addict, or a zombie. I think she's the latter, due to the eyes lolling back into the head, and those thoughts about fleshy body parts to consume. Now I understand why Mallard is in the Superman prison. He finally did it: Chantelicide.

Michael said...

And DaveyK, I disagree: the 2/07 poem is WAY worse. It's true that this one is horrible, but check out the rhythm of the last sentence:

"It'll SAVE you the PRICE of a STAMP."

That's some meter right there! One's thing for sure though: we already have some strong candidates for the 2008 Golden Ellipses "Worst Rhyme Scheme".