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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Those damned quips

What's Mallard raving about today?

Bill Clinton, Interns.

Remember when Presidential misdeeds included adulterous oral sex with interns? Boy wasn't that horrible? Almost destroyed America.

Lots more damaging to the Republic than, say, wholesale trampling of the Constitution and attempting to outstrip the Spanish Inquisition when it comes to degrading treatment of other human beings.

That stuff is quaint by comparison to a blow job.


factinista said...

It absolutely disturbed me when I noticed that Tinsley has written FORTY-FIVE of these Mallentines. How can he possibly live with himself after that?

And that looks more like Jay Leno than anyone else.

Michael said...

Nice pompadour, Bill.

john said...

I miss Calvin and Hobbes.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Is the number for real? I just assumed it was something meaningless Tinny pulled out of his ass (like the rest of any given strip).

HAW HAW! BILL CLINTON HAD SEX! HAW HAW! Thanks for putting an end to all that "it wasn't about the sex, it was about the lying" baloney, Tinny. And thank goodness the Republicans are never involved in any sort of moral scandal, let alone sexual ones.

*waits for the inevitable story about Bruce Tinsley being arrested on a school playground with a bag of candy and his pants off*

factinista said...

Is the number for real? I just assumed it was something meaningless Tinny pulled out of his ass (like the rest of any given strip).

Well, I had noticed the numbers were consistent the whole time he's been doing this in 2008, so I thought it was for real.

But I just now went back to 2007, and the last one that year was #25. So yeah, it was grade-A bull.

TuxedoSlack said...

Compare and contrast this strip and the one for the 17th of September last and you have final and clinching proof that Tinny is writing for an audience of anterograde amnesiacs. Or just people who have their heads so far up the Noise Machine's aynon that they're willfully blind to the Machine's utter inability to (in the immortal words of the Beard Copilot "pick a slur and stick with it".

Matt Ramone said...

Wouldn't this make Ted Haggard a more immoral, vile figure than Bill Clinton? I'm just saying if we're going by these standards.

dlauthor said...

Bruce Tinsley's daily harangue
Ain't about the Republican gang
Being right-wing ensures
They're above censure
When compared with Bill Clinton's wang.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to dlauthor above, your Mallardesque ensures-censure rhyme made my day....

rewinn said...

dlauthor has shown us the way
To mock Mallard Fillmore each day.
It's really quite easy:
Just do not be sleazy,
And out-write the duck: child's play!

Michael said...

Rewinn, you need to learn more
That to properly mock Mallard Fillmore
The rhythm needs to be bad
You must contrive words to rhyme, yellowtail scad
And the words are a not-quite-rhyming affair!

luke said...

i seriously fear
the fact that there is a mirror
which, as bill stares
into its pink glare,
reflects mallard's appear

dlauthor said...

Michael, I think that you missed this
(Which should cause boos and hisses):
A Bruce imitation
Should abuse punctuation ....
And include a four-dot ellipsis.

Oh, and Luke? Your last line actually made me laugh out loud, for reals.

rewinn said...

The drunken and broken rhythm
Reveals what is really in them ....
(As you-all have noted
And made me laugh as I gloated)
Those Lame-rick Mallard Fillmoreism.