Project Wonderful Banner

Monday, November 24, 2008

That damned Present

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thanksgiving, Then and Now.

Ah, the Past. Superior to the Present in every way, especially when, like Mallard, you romanticize it into a Utopia that never in fact existed.

As to the complaint at hand, Mallard, perhaps if Republicans had not created a world in which everyone needed to work three jobs to survive, that couple would have time to cook.

21 comments:

D Johnston said...

I find it interesting that Tinsley uses the more Anglicized "carryout" rather than the conventional American term "takeout." What the matter, Tins? American slang not good enough for you?

Also, why do these people seem so bitter and angry? "Well, MY mom BASTED the turkey!" Makes me wonder what life is like in the Tinsley household.

12xuser said...

"Well, MY Mom put BACON over the breast!" is my new favorite phrase.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, can we not talk about my dead mother's breasts?

dlauthor said...

Tinshley: "Well, MY parents argued bitterly about everything, thus driving me to political hackery, lousy drawing, and cheap scotch!"

Brian said...

That's the problem with thanksgiving today, not enough bacon to go with the turkey.
I'm starting a new tradition, duck for Thanksgiving. Who's with me?

rewinn said...

"That's Our Tinny!"

====

But seriously folks:

Q. Why did your poor dead mother put bacon on her breasts?

A. Because Obama is a Muslim!

Mr. Fourdotellipse said...

My dad hunted a dinosaur and my mom cooked it (without bacon on the breasts, either pair of them). Now, those were the good ol' days!

Robert said...

From generation to generation, one thing remains the same: married people hate each other.

Michael said...

Is putting bacon over one's breasts supposed to ward off Muslims? Or merely create the most awesome combination that has ever existed?

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

Did someone say bacon over breasts?

GeoX said...

Office reference duly noted.

Truly, given that past-people and present-people look equally angry, it's hard to say why the past is supposed to be preferable to the present in this case. It's as though Tinsley's endless well of bitterness slops over even into those aspects of the world that he's trying to romanticize.

Alex Berry said...

Is Tinsley married? I'm starting to imagine his life is straight out of a "Lockhorns" strip.

ajm said...

Is Tinsley married? I'm starting to imagine his life is straight out of a "Lockhorns" strip.

Yes, he is. Apparently Mrs. T. is a liberal civil rights advocate. It's a Norman Lear sitcom come to life!

exanonymous said...

Funny, I haven't known anyone to do a carryout thanksgiving. Maybe they won't do a full turkey because it takes a full day to thaw, another to cook, and gets pricey around Thanksgiving.

Damn liberals. Still cooking their turkeys instead of getting take-out.

Michael said...

I used to work at Boston Market, and was a little surprised at the number of people who did order their holiday dinners from there. Since our country distinguishes itself by working ourselves to death (like DaveyK says: thanks Republicans!), we could do much worse that Boston Market, "Farmer Bob's", or "Happy Ham" before collapsing on our lumpy couches with snax.

Alex Berry: That's what I was thinking too. If the Lockhorns author retires, Tinsley should be next in line. It is his destiny. He can focus on bitching about humanity in general, without being burdened with a strip format that forces him to mention current events!

Word verification: antrat.
I saw a "potato bug" last night outside my house. I could have just as easily called it an antrat, because it looked like a rat-sized ant. I am still creeped out.

Kaitlyn said...

But wait - the parents that used carryout used it in the past, the '80s at least.

Reagan was president, how could it have been bad?

Kaitlyn said...

Actually, when I saw the past half, I thought the present half would be whining about a health obsession.

I mean BACON?

On TURKEY?

What the hell?

Factinista said...

Yes, let's harken back to a simpler time, when we didn't worry about trifling things like, say, heart attacks. Ah, the good old days.

Anonymous said...

Kaitlyn said...
"But wait - the parents that used carryout used it in the past, the 80s at least.

Reagan was president, how could it have been bad?"

Little girl - How would you know? During the 80's the most you had accomplished was to shit your diaper.You complain or make reference to Reagan because you hear your friends complain about him because he was...my God, a conservative.

Factinista said...

I dunno, I'd say making backroom weapons deals with Iran, bombing an insignificant little island into the stone age just because they were communist, and tripling our national debt were all kinda bad. Sure, he did a lot of good things too, but don't act like he's the Messiah.

And just because someone doesn't remember an event, they can't learn and form opinions about it? Please.

rewinn said...

I remember Reagan quite well.

I was a Nixon conservative back then, but I had Reagan pegged as a liar from the start, and he never disappointed me in that regard. To hear him pontificate on how important it was to invade Granada was to hear humor of the highest order.

And "Star Wars"? Please. From the start, it was the ravings of an idiot ... or, more accurately, of an actor delivering lines written by the military-industrial complex.

Reagan started America's long decline, by cancelling Carter's Energy Independence programs (Reagan was deeply in the pockets of Big Oil ... the front pockets too.). His party masked our decline by massively stimulating our economy with deficits, a.k.a. borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. There's an unsavory name for that technique....

... it's kinda funny that Tinkley's contribution to this thread is to talk about shit.

It's sad though. He could've explained his joke in a useful way, e.g. "if you are cooking poultry and don't want the breast meat to dry out, put some fatty bacon on it. Don't use the highest-quality bacon because it has too little fat to keep the white meat moist."

P.S. Nanny ... This year I am most thankful for that bacon bra picture!