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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

That damned Santa

What's Mallard raving about today?

Milestones, Christmas.

Mallad fires the first shot in Bill O'Reilly's vaunted War on Christmas.

Alternately: Why does Mallard hate the free market so much?

25 comments:

exanonymous said...

Mallard hates America. Surprise. No making a legal buck around Mallard if it's tacky. Keep the mascots, shoot the Santas!

NLC said...

Simple solutions to simple problems:

1] When reusing a "gag", instead of bothering to (re-)draw the strip, simply display a URL linked to a page on the King Features site showing the strip the last time it was used.

2] Generalize this scheme: The next time Tinsley decides to have a SJW ["single-joke week"] replace the subsequent strips with the following:
"See Monday's strip"
"See Tuesday's strip"
"See Wednesday's strip"
"..."

(Oops, sorry. I meant:
"....")

rewinn said...

Why does the robin look so worried?

I can only assume it's because it is standing on a pile of something amorphous and lumpy. Grits? Sodden newspapers? Tinkely's lost dreams?

GeoX said...

I like how pissed off Santa looks. Tinsley takes his own dyspeptic view of the world and projects it on to everyone else! How uplifting!

Michael said...

A cartoon against mall Santas? What the hell?

Please tell me Mallard Fillmore won't be like this for the next 4 years. I want to see Obama break the Fillmore chin length record, currently held by John Kerry (17 in).

rewinn said...

"...I like how pissed off Santa looks. Tinsley takes his own dyspeptic view of the world and projects it..."

Could it be a self-portrait?

This "comic" can't pay that well. It certainly doesn't take that much time to "draw". Times are hard; people take 2nd or 3rd jobs.

If your mall Santa has a pronounced odor of alcohol, ask him to draw a duck.

Kaitlyn said...

He doesn't hate Christmas, he hates the commercialization of Christmas.

But he can object to it on the grounds that it's "too early." If I object on the grounds that some people don't celebrate Christmas it's a culture war.

Is he just going to IGNORE the election entirely? I was hoping and hoping and hoping he'd something similar to the "fantasy" he did in 2004 where Kerry won and it was awful, just awful! I'm sure I read it, as I read the opinion pages every day at that time, but I don't remember poorly drawn right-wing screeds.

andy? said...

playing a mall Santa could be construed as community service....

Robert said...

When I was in high school working as a stocker, a lady gave me a commercialization-of-Xmas lecture while I was putting up the first holiday display of the season (right before Halloween). Tinsley gets the same advice that that lady got: if you're that worried about the spirit of the season, go volunteer in a soup kitchen or something.

Anonymous said...

I don't usually check the comments because it is the same liberal group who have nothing to do but hang around this blog and "piss and moan" and agree with each other.

The gang will find fault with every cartoon BT draws. Below is a thought you can ponder. Also, if I don't get back here before the holidays, I wish you all an early Merry Christmas. Hope you all get what you deserve.

I was sitting here thinking during lunch and this thought struck me .....
After all that time and money spent during the election, what actually was the outcome?
Another black family living in government housing!

john said...

I guess we didn't have an election this year in Mallard world ...

Michael said...

Oh no, we have hurt Bruce Tinsley's feelings!

NotannonNotcow said...

I was sitting here thinking during lunch and this thought struck me .....
After all that time and money spent during the election, what actually was the outcome?
Another black family living in government housing!


Sounds like a preview of a Mallard joke to be published in about two weeks.

Robert said...

We're all happy to sit around agreeing with each other if the alternative is agreeing with sophomoric, racist jokes.

As for "get(ting) back here before the holidays", feel free to stay wherever you are indefinitely.

NLC said...

My, my, my....

Our own little personal troll.

Anonymous said...

My fellow Americans:

As your next President I want to thank my supporters for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my relations with William Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, Rev. Michael Pfleger, Saul Alinsky, Rashid Khalidi, ACORN etc. and my blatantly leftist voting record while I presented myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also liked how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency, after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedys for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr., and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair.

And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless, empty platitudes was a great force that helped propel me to the White House. Many Americans voted for me, not because of my experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined racist guilt.


I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them. Americans are tired of thinking. It was time to shut down the brain and open up the heart. So when you voted for me, you did not think, you just did it, so now I am your next President.

Thank you, Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.

MartyRotten said...

The election results weren't in until Tuesday night, and Tinsley was probably on a bender because McCain lost (much like the one he'd be on if McCain had won.) I'm sure we'll hear plenty of whining in the second couple of weeks.

Especially tomorrow's which he probably drew the day after the election, badly hungover.

Stay tuned.

NLC said...

Thanks anonymous.

This is great.

Keep on telling yourself and your buddies that the reason the neocon wingnuts lost the election was that the American people were so stupid as to be told who to vote for (by the liberal mainstream press, Oprah Winfrey, etc). Because. as we all know, they clearly couldn't have any other possible reason for rejecting the impeccable record of the last eight years.

Promise you'll keep doing this?

Please?

Pretty please?

Kaitlyn said...

What do you hope to gain by doing this anonymous?

Neither anonymous troll post had anything to do with today's Mallard Fillmore, and yeah, totally, persuaded the casual reader.

You're not original.

rewinn said...

I think nlc has the right idea.

We should encourage Anonymous coward to avoid actually thinking why the candidate with the worst conceivable name not only won handily, but re-drew the electoral map (VA? NC? IN? wow!!!)

Unthinking opponents lose. America needs anonymous coward and his ilk to keep losing.

kaitlyn: trolls are all alike: they value their time so cheaply that they spend it on trolling.

Folks, we all of us get ONE life, and any time doing some destructive instead of creative is basically a tiny bit of suicide. This blog is basically literary commentary and/or criticism; smart authors engage their critics in fierce but creative discussions. Stupid authors troll.

Verification Word: "bedit". I think it's a conjugal verb.

Anonymous said...

November 18, 2008
rewinn said...
"This blog is basically literary commentary and/or criticism; smart authors engage their critics in fierce but creative discussions. Stupid authors troll."

**Much like these comments by "rewinn"? Who apparently gets his kicks from "crotch shots" of a duck cartoon :) quite telling what his problem is...

November 15, 2008
rewinn said - Panel 2: crotch shot.
Panel 3: same image as panel 2 but point of view has mysteriously changed.
Points to Tinkley for freeing us from the crotch shot (... the feathered analogue to furries are, however, disappointed.)


November 13, 2008
rewinn said - He also drew a lot of crotch shots drunkenly, without learning anything.
Like: no-one's really interested in crotch shots of a duck.


November 12, 2008 - rewinn said... Yeah, it's funny and not hateful. But what's with the crotch shot ... again?

Kaitlyn said...

The crotch shot thing? It doesn't matter what the comic is about, no comic requires drawings like that.

It's called criticism.

luke said...

I don't usually check the comments because it is the same liberal group who have nothing to do but hang around this blog and "piss and moan" and agree with each other.

Yeah, nothing ruins the experience of regularly reading a blog that you hate like having to deal with the commenters. It's like that time I went to the GOP convention and the only people there were Republicans, fuckin' unbelievable.

andy? said...

hey what if we just ignore stupid posts?
if we reply to them we're only drawing more attention to ideas we abhor

rewinn said...

Tinkley: you might be better off asking yourself why you draw so many crotch shots of ducks.

My pointing it out to you is "criticism" and, may I add, relatively gentle and helpful. If you can't handle it, you need another line of work.