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Sunday, November 01, 2009

That damned juice

What's Mallard raving about today?


I am assuming this is Mallard's answer to the question: "Why does {group I disagree with} hate America so much?"

And, even leaving aside the stupidity of the premise, this is a stupid take on a stupid premise.

All of which makes Mallard...well, you may draw your own conclusions.


Michael said...

It is all their fault. Instead of ventriloquism, maybe the sauropods should have focused on survival skills, such as migrating out of that desert.

Ducky is Right said...


I will say that it's your fault for leaving your herd and walking right into a massive pack of predators.

God, the analogy is so bad, I can't even wrap my head around it. America is a large, helpless herbivore, and everyone who doesn't like us is a park of.. velocisaurus rexes? Something about the circle of life, and I guess preemptive doctrines? I... just... what?

Iron Dragon said...

Wait...if we follow Tinselys logic then he actually thinks that those that prey on others deserve to do so and in fact are mandated to do so. The predators HAVE to eat other creatures to survive, they can't eat plants they can't do anything other than kill and eat other creatures. And, I might be wrong here, but if Tinsley is a fundie then he likely trucks with the idea that God made everything perfectly as is, no evolution or any of that.

Ergo god WANTS these creatures to die and in fact the herbivores are correct. Oh sure, I'm taking this differently than he wanted and intended, but he made a HORRIBLE analogy.

GeoX said...

I feel like I have Tinsley Fatigue. There's just no way to say anything meaningful about such lazy, trite, nonsense.

Tog said...

Iron Dragon has given us insight into the lump of poop sloshing around in Tinsley's otherwise-empty skull: deep down inside he's another Reverend Phelps*, gleefully praying for America's enemies to destroy it. That'll teach us to ignore the teachings of Rush Limbaugh!

*One of those horribly bigoted "reverends" who Tinsley never seems to want to make fun of because unlike Jackson or Sharpton, Phelps is, WELL IT CAN'T BE BECAUSE HE'S WHITE BECAUSE RACISM IS SOOO OVER WITH TINSLEY SAID SO HIMSELF!

exanonymous said...

I'm not sure I understand. Liberals deliberately find trouble and then blame themselves?

So if that's the liberal approach, then the neocon approach would be to walk right into a herd of carnivores and blame the hungry meat eaters for eating them?

Which was the party of personal responsibility again?

dlauthor said...

What actually happened here is that the protuberant spinal-cord swelling in the sauropods' asses, which controls mindless reflexes only, got them into this mess, and it's up to the real brains in their heads to get them out, and they acknowledge that it's the fault of the sauropods as a whole.

So, sauropods = America, albertosauruses = foreign policy, domestic policy, and economic disasters, brains = liberals.

And protuberant ass-swellings = conservatives.

A perfect analogy at last from Tinshley!

(Personally, I doubt Tinshley is a fundie. Most right-wing agitators like Limbaugh, Coulter, and Hannity aren't really religious at all; they just use it cynically to suit their purposes, like demogogues throughout history. Even Beck only picks and chooses the wackiest parts of historical Mormonism to bolster his arguments. I doubt Tinshley puts even that much thought into his "work," but I don't get a religious bent out of him.)

(Oh, and I'm sure Anonyrast is currently fapping to the images that popped into his head when he read "protuberant ass-swelling," but hey, at least it keeps him away from the playground for a while.)

Bill the Splut said...

You're all reading too much into this. "It's your fault you're so big and delicious!" is what Brucey says to the magnum bottle of Jim Beam every morning.

rewinn said...

Today's "comic" should be labeled "how conservatives see the world: The world is fully of bad people who want to eat us!"

It's another lazy-Sunday, single-panel, badly drawn, one-liner but it DOES reflect the conservative world-view. As Thom Hartmann puts it, conservatives are ruled by the lizard part of the brain, that has no emotions other than hunger and hate. Liberals are ruled by the parts of the brain that evolved later, which include love and thinking things through.

In reality, the world is complex. Your average Afghan peasant doesn't even know the world is round, much less that "Americans" are made of tasty flesh. For the cost of putting ONE American soldier or Marine in Afghanistan for a year ($1 million, according to our Pentagon ... almost none of it is pay) we could hire 25,000 Afghanis to do nothing but sing "We love America!".

Or, maybe, rebuild their country.

But requires overcoming childish fears of the dark.

Anonymous said...

dlauthor - Judging from your constant perverted comments, you are obviously sexually fixated on little children. A few words of advice which you need to take very seriously.

rewinn said...

Please Do Not Feed The Trolls

If a Tinshley-lover can post something relevant, we might have a discussion, but trolls live for the stimulation of getting a response.

It's that lizard-brain thing again: troll have no neo-cortex

Jazzbumpa said...

This cartoon is a near-perfect representation of the neo-conservative world view.

- Liberals are soft
- Liberals blame America first
- Liberals make excuses for the attacks of evil-doers on America
- The world is filled with horrible dangers
- A few fanatics with box cutters are the equivalent of voracious, tooth monsters who will destroy us.

A Conservative's "mind" is a sad and dreary place to spend your life

Tog said...

Side note: Kosovo unveiled a statue of Bill Clinton for actually accomplishing a mission that was genuinely intended to liberate people.

Had this event occurred during the Cheney maladministration, the media would be filled with stories about how the terror alert had been raised to "red" for reasons that couldn't be revealed due to national security, and rumors of crimes by the Clinton administration having been uncovered--rumors that would be forgotten a week later--all pushing the Kosovo event back to page 32.

Clinton: Statue and international respect.

Bush: The shoe-tosser comes out of jail an international hero.


Kip W said...

What really happened was that some people wanted to figure out why the terrorists wanted to make us their targets, and were promptly branded as mushy-headed liberals who wanted to give the terrorists the keys to the city. Like Tin Eye, I was there. Unlike Tin Eye, I remember.

rewinn said...

Compare and contrast today's "comic" with today's "liberal" Doonesbury

* Which one knows WTF about our military?

* Which one is the dinosaur?

GeoX said...

That's not fair--it's like criticizing a mentally disabled six-year-old playing teeball for not being Major League Hall of Fame material.

Or at least, that's what I WOULD say, but the six-year-old has for some reason been made a part of the Major League, so I think some polite criticism is warranted.

Has it been noted yet that there is absolutely NO reason for today's offering to be a Sunday strip? It seems gruesomely unfair that some talented, would-be cartoonist is being kept out of the comics page by this drivel.

dlauthor said...

Ah, it's fun to troll the troll. Hit a little close to the mark, didn't I, Anonyrast? Now go take your van full of candy and drive it into the river.

Hey You Over There said...

I've been reading this blog for a while, but this is my first comment here...

Just wanted to mention I was at a Halloween dance last night. There was a guy in an Obama mask there, and despite being surrounded by a group of liberal people, nobody brought up whether it may have been racist or not.

Tinsley completely off the mark about something? What a surprise!