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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Those damned Agents

What's Mallard raving about today?

Health Care, IRS Agents.

In other news, Mallard is a lying sack of crap with no sense of decency.

OK, I admit that's not exactly news...

Update: Ooops! Changed IRA Agents -> IRS Agents. Big difference. Though, notably, Mallard's claim would not be any more false had he said "IRA Agents".

22 comments:

exanonymous said...

I suppose IRS agents like communists and Mao are supposed to trigger fear in me, but I missed my programming sessions.

Ron Paul even said they would have guns. But to me, they're really just working Americans. And like any other American, if there's a problem you can talk to them. Crankiness isn't the result of a character defect but rather dealing with America's crappy math skills and a system that is difficult to understand.

Tog said...

I'm reminded of a Monty Python print piece parodying those old Charles Atlas comic book ads, which declared:

DEVELOP UP TO 38" BICEPS!
GROW UP TO 12" TALLER!
LOSE UP TO 40" OF FAT IN YOUR FIRST WORK-OUT!
PROLONG YOUR LIFE BY UP TO 1,000 YEARS!
GO TO BED WITH UP TO ANY LUDICROUS NUMBER OF GIRLS YOU CARE TO THINK OF (PROVIDING YOU REALIZE THIS STATEMENT IS QUITE MEANINGLESS AS THE PHRASE "UP TO" CLEARLY INCLUDES THE NUMBER "NOUGHT")!


"And Ah heerd some of these IRS ayjents is gonna be BLACK! Oh sweet Jesus! Ah heerd it on FOXNews, so's ya knows it true!"

Sorry, Mallard, SNL's busy making fun of honest political embarrassments. Just ask Tina Fey. (I'm sure they'd mock you, if only anyone gave a damn about you and your rat-ass strip besides our little group.)

CasualBrowser said...

The right is using guns to scare us? I thought we were supposed to be reassured each time we saw Americans packing. The more guns in the public view, the less emboldened criminals are. But now we're supposed to be afraid of them??? Is this selective fearmongering?

Iron Dragon said...

Umm, casual, what is the whole bearing arms thing related to in this comic?

CasualBrowser said...

Sorry, I was reading FactCheck.org's recount of this lie's evolution, and it eventually turned into 'IRS agents with guns'. Forgot that wasn't part of the comic.

NickE said...

Or as they say in Oklahoma, "Shoot the dang revenooers!"

When did the right's ideal of the "perfect American" change from John Wayne to Pappy Yokum?

Kip W said...

Tin thinks that bringing up the IRS is incongruous, but not because it's an urban legend on steroids, blastfaxed to all talking heads. No, it's because any linkage between healthcare and the IRS is just so darned silly.

What's that? Teabaggers declaring an intention not to pay their taxes? Darn that three-week delay between reality and Duckspeak.

And that's why nobody says "Live from New York," because the duck lives in a time lag that makes him more stale than any rerun even before he starts flapping his beak. We'll see what we can do about getting you a slot on Dennis Miller's late-night show in 1992.

Kip W said...

CasualBrowser, the right is unhappy about the guns because they see them as a cheap bid to try and make IRS agents seem lovable. They'd probably go for it if the agents would really wear jackboots.

rewinn said...

With hip cultural references like Saturday Night Live, is it any wonder that "Mallard Fillmore" is a "hit" among the up-and-coming younger generation.

Yessirree!!!

DrBGoode said...

DaveyK;
In your perfectly accurate fact check I noticed one mistake. In answering your usual question "what's Mallard raving about today?" you say IRA agents. I was excited to read the comic, wondering how Mallard would relate health care to the Irish Republican Army, only to be crushed when it was just another "waaaaaaah taxes" comic.

Penh said...

AS THE PHRASE "UP TO" CLEARLY INCLUDES THE NUMBER "NOUGHT"

Yes! That's the first thing that came to mind when I read the debunking. :)

Factinista said...

The duck looks like he's been lobotomized in the middle panel. Given today's "joke," that seems oddly appropriate.

Steve-O said...

Well, this confirms it.

I always suspected, but now I know. Tinsley only gets his "news" from "WorldNetDaily".

That would be like me getting all my "news" from the National Enquirer.

(reminds me of "So I Married an Axe Murderer")

Bill the Splut said...

Re yesterday's "MSM ignores the TPers" toon: In a convenience store today I saw that the front page story of the Boston Herald was "HEAR US ROAR!" with a huge picture of Palin. The rally hadn't even started yet. The Herald: All the News That Hasn't Happened Yet.

deepbeep said...

Mallard, YOU LIE!

Frank Stone said...

Mallard: That's because you have to be doing something at least marginally funny before someone says, "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!"

Ducky is Right said...

Silly liberals! Government employees aren't REAL people! They're cloned from the frozen bodies of Lenin and Hitler!

I don't get what hos point would be, anyways. The government would be spending money to hire more employees to better facilitate tax collection. That's kinda how it works.
Would you complain about how STUPID it is to have to SPEND MONEY on gas to get your car to a gas station to BUY MORE GAS? No. Because that's retarded.
Offer still stands for your state to return it's Federal funds, Ducks.

You really don't, Frank. You really don't.

Kaitlyn said...

My dad's a bigot and a conservative.

He did my sister's taxes. She was going to get 150 dollars or so.

She got her refund in the mail yesterday. For almost 3 times as much. Who caught the mistakes?

The evil IRS.

Conservatives - negative infinity, IRS - 1.

Because one anecdote is ALL you need to prove or disprove something.

Kaitlyn said...

And (if it were true), why would this be bad? 16K more jobs!

Government jobs are jobs too, ducky.

MartyRotten said...

So in other words, you're saying that Obama's policy has created 16,000 new jobs. Or is that putting too positive a spin on your bitter negativity?

exanonymous said...

Pfft, Marty, everyone knows that government jobs aren't REAL jobs. Real jobs entail sitting around in front of your television "researching" for which you get paid an unspecified amount that is approximately more than the internet liberals.

Ducky is Right said...

Incidentally, I just did mine (is the deadline soon or something?) and I'm getting a SIGNIFICANT amount of money back*. Actually, I'm getting some back and then some. I guess being a dead broke college student has SOME perks.

Boy, I sure am glad I wasn't a whiny prick who refused to file a tax return, or I wouldn't be getting a nice, three-digit refund. Lick 'em, teabaggers.

*knock on wood, please don't jinx me. >< I need money.