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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Those damned Europeans

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, Europeans.

Did Mallard just admit that we pay only half the taxes that Europeans pay? I mean "Europeans." You know, those scary folks pretending to be European.

Isn't that admission totally at odds with the claim of a Socialist takeover of America?

And why are his kids taxes going to be lower? Isn't that totally at odds with the claim of out-of-control-spending (please ignore the fact that Republicans ran up the majority of it).

Seriously, who is guest writing Mallard Fillmore today?


Tog said...

Mallard loves to lecture lies, but hates to be told truth.

Tog said...

By the way, nice catch on the quotation marks, Davey. Who ARE these pseudo-"Europeans," and what have they done with real Europeans? Or are all Europeans just a figment of our liberal imaginations, like a round Earth?

Larry's right in the final panel; at least insomuch that eventually, Republicans WILL regain control at some point and promptly redeploy Bushonomics--rampant spending, war war war, and tax cuts for their superwealthy owners. And the Chinese can't bail us out forever. So yes, taxes will go up. Waaaay up.

I assume Larry's telling Mallard this to cheer him up.

Larry's wrong that Mallard will have kids. He's a sociopathically-selfish duck that's trying to date a human woman and invites little boys to roll around on his dirty floor. I don't see offspring in his future, barring nightmarish breakthroughs in DNA splicing. (But then again, God apparently saw fit to damn a couple of kids to carry the shame of Tinsley's parentage, so who knows.)

Taquelli said...

Is Mallard talking about Europeans in America? Because that's pretty much true. Immigrants pay more in taxes than citizens do, for less service...mainly because they have absolutely no way to complain about it. Seriously, they can't vote! Why aren't they storming down the street and getting sponsored by major news outlets? Oh right, because they're mature adults.

doubleyou-tee-eff said...

He complains that taxes are going up, then complains he's paying half of other developed countries' taxes? Whose side is he on?

Iron Dragon said...

My guess is that this is one of those 'I consider this point irrelevant' comments which it really isn't. Europe has better infrastructure and has many advantages to the US. But then there are people who seem to think that any taxes are horrible.

dlauthor said...

The character of "Larry" is an interesting one Tinshley has no coworkers, given that his "office" is whatever scrap of paper he hasn't spilled too much beer on while watching (and hating) TV on his own house. One can only assume that Larry is a stand-in for his (extremely) long-suffering wife. She must feel so flattered.

And re: future tax burdens, I vaguely recall some guy running a surplus 10 years ago, before all those tax cuts and wars. Wonder what happened.

Rootbeer said...

Someone tell A. Wyatt Mann that one of his Jew caricatures has escaped from his comics and crossed over to Mallard Fillmore.

rewinn said...

Today *is* the day to tell Mallard he's paying half his taxes to fund war.

Actually, it's worse than that (something like 53%, when you count necessary veterans' care and stuff) and that doesn't count the lost productivity of diverting so much into so wasteful an activity.

So if Mallard wants to cut taxes, perhaps he needs to stop cheerleading for the people who want us to spend more on war than the entire rest of the planet put together.

But he won't. They pay his salary.

Kip W said...

It's funny because Mallard accidentally bumped up against the truth. Back when people used to say to me (in a louder voice than necessary) "Reagan never raised taxes!" I used to say, "He raised them on our kids, and their kids, and their kids."

Being Mallard, of course, he has to duck the issue of why the kids will pay more taxes, but most anybody with an IQ higher than a teabagger can count will know, and statistically, that's over half the population.

Factinista said...

Being Mallard, of course, he has to duck the issue of why the kids will pay more taxes,

Really, he'll probably just blame Obama, like all of the other nutjobs.

Steve-O said...


When someone says "Regan never raised taxes", your response should be "YOU LIE!" because after the initial tax cut his first year in office Reagan raised taxes 6 OF THE NEXT 7 YEARS HE WAS IN OFFICE! This bit of revisionist history is one that pisses me off almost more than any other.

Tog said...

Totally off-topic (except that it's "Euro"-centric), but GOD, to I need to vent SOMEWHERE:

The Catholic Church's ongoing foot-in-mouth campaign continues apace as Pope Benedict declares (tip-of-iceberg quote):

"Conformism which makes it obligatory to think and act like everyone else, and the subtle - or not so subtle - aggression towards the Church, demonstrate how this conformism can really be a true dictatorship."

Remember the talking points:
-- We're the victims here!;
-- It's the media's fault for bringing our crimes to light! It's an attack on ALL of you!;
-- How DARE you COMMONERS lecture US about our sins? We are INFALLIBLE!!!1 ...But ever so humble!;
-- Demanding that we stop raping children is Communism--I mean, conformism, which, if you think about it, is just as bad, if not worse!;
-- The Catholic Church, however, is in no way, shape, or form, conformist nor a dictatorship. Now shut up and tithe, and don't you dare use a condom!

Man, it's like Tinsley's writing his speeches.

exanonymous said...

Europeans get a lot more for their taxes, and the systems tend to be more progressive. Places start out as low as 1% or 5% for the lowest wage earners and include health care, retirement, and unemployment insurance, things that are separate from the standard medicare/social security/income tax package. Since none of these things have private companies skimming off what they can for profit, it's a better deal for the person. But it's gubmint, and that's bad.

wavydavy said...

@dlauthor --

Whenever some wingut or one of their supporters and enablers pulls out the old "The Clinton years were a disaster!" canard, my standard response is:

"So, what didn't you like about them? Was it the peace or the prosperity?"

Ducky is Right said...

Usual faux tough guy stuff. Ducky has no problem bitching loudly, and constantly, with no real provocation, and about anything and everything he hates; often with a little self-pleased smirk.
But TODAY IS NOT THE DAY!!!! to do it to him. Yutz.

Largest surplus in history, to the largest deficit in history, combined with the worst financial collapse since the Great Depression. YOURS IS NO TO QUESTION THE BLAMING OF THE DEMOCRATS, PEON! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DOZ HAS SPOKEN!!

Tog said...


"It's the war! Over in almost no time! Few US casualties! A genuine liberation! We left without installing a puppet! No jingoism! And worst of all, the son of a bitch got a statue! Democrats do EVERYTHING wrong!!"

Kip W said...

Steve-O, that is a point worth repeating.

wavydavy said...

@Tog --

Are you saying the Iraqis and Afghanis are not going to build statues to W? Blasphemer!