Those damned Troubled Guys

What's Mallard raving about today?

Terrorists, The Media.

We get it Mallard. You want everything that causes you to wet your pants to be labeled "al Queda" because you feel that will justify the fact that you immediately knuckle under to terror.

The rest of us have a spine, so pardon us if we choose not to wet our pants on your cue.

That damned Nixon

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox, Rush Limbaugh, President Nixon.

President Nixon's operatives broke into Lewis Fielding's office in order to get psychiatric info on Daniel Ellsberg's mental state to discredit him. President Nixon illegally wiretapped Daniel Ellberg. President Nixon had reporters audited. President Nixon's henchmen plotted to murder Jack Anderson.

President Obama's staff said that they will treat Fox as an opposition media outlet.

Worst comparison ever.

That damned Nougat

What's Mallard raving about today?

Candy, Charity.

Mallard is openly mocking charity, for God's sake.

Mallard is determined to be less likable than Ebenezer Scrooge, this Christmas.

Those damned Holidays

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holidays, School.

Mallard joins the War On Christmas. Holidays? Bill O'Reilly is going to be apoplectic.

As for the strip itself: "Don't ask for taxes to pay for schools and don't ask me to pay for schools personally. Schools suck...I can't imagine why."

That damned Special

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thanksgiving, television.

Thanksgiving is now a religious holiday? Seriously?

I mean, I know the Calvinists were there, but so were the Pagans.

That damned Respect

What's Mallard raving about today?

Christianity, Islam, The Media.

Poor Christians...someday maybe one of them will be elected President.

That damned Backlash

What's Mallard raving about today?

Journalism, Islam.

Meanwhile, at Fox Propaganda school: "Let's say a gunman has just shot a dozen people while yelling "Allahu Akbar." What question should you ask first? Exactly! How quickly can I gin up a Public backlash against Muslims."

Those damned Motives

What's Mallard raving about today?

Terrorism.

What shall we do in case an armed gunman with ties to radical Christian groups kills a doctor? Or sets off a bomb at the Olympics? Or blows up a Federal building?

In either case, I differ from Mallard in that I want the same thing: Primacy of the Rule of Law and no pants-wetting, fearmongering, and uninformed speculation.

Those damned Hungry Pilgrims

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pilgrims, Nobel Peace Prize

The Nobel Prize Committee are Hungry Pilgrims? And Americans are Turkeys?

Looks like Mallard feels the Most Mystifying Panel (aka The Golden Flash) category needed some beefing up this year.

That damned Disclaimer

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Well, at least now we know why Mallard thinks he is on this imaginary Enemies List.

After all, he's been repeating the contents of his cartoon over and over and over for at least 3 years now.

Those damned Apps

What's Mallard raving about today?

iPhone, President Obama.

If you're going to make an iPhone joke, may I suggest you do some research? "Click?"

I will listen to Mallard regarding the importance of Presidential Approval Ratings when President Obama's fall to the same level as President Bush's were when Mallard started commenting about President Bush's poll numbers.

What's that? Mallard never commented on President Bush's poll numbers? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

Update: D'oh! Comic link is fixed. Sorry, was jet-lagged.

Those damned investigations

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Enemies Lists, Racism.

Now Mallard is claiming that liberals feel over-frequent usage constitutes racism? So, any thing which gets discussed frequently is racist. For example, "Who will win the Super Bowl?" is racist. As is "Who will be the next Top Chef?" and "How was your day?"

Also, of course, "Do you think Mallard Fillmore has lost his mind?"

Fox, of course, hasn't launched an investigation. Not only are they actually the only network talking frequently about a fictitious enemies list, but they also couldn't care less if anything is racist as they already give a platform to batshit insane people raving about eliminationist fantasies and conspiracy theories several hours a day.

That damned rejoinder

What's Mallard raving about today?

Moderate Republicans.

I don't want to get in the way of the Great Republican Purity Purge, but "Moderate Republican" is not a rejoinder, trite or otherwise.

Now, please carry on purging the non Glenn Beck supporters from your ranks.

That damned Collection

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Enemies Lists.

For a member of a Party and a loyal viewer of a Propaganda Network which reflexively and angrily oppose everything President Obama does (he sleeps until 8am: "He's not working hard enough!"; he wakes before 8am: "Is Obama dangerously sleep deprived?") Mallard sure has a thin skin when challenged about his reflexive hatred.

Today does deserve special mention for the implication of "racism" and "socialism" without overtly using either term. Dog whistle politics at its most ham-handed...

Those damned Enemies

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Voters.

Wow. Fox, Rush, & Mallard...Delusions of grandeur, Mallard?

Although, a pitch perfect water-carrying of their talking points, I admit. Note the fact that he ignores what exit polling said about voters approval of Obama in those two states. And no mention of NY-23?

Those damned Dinosaurs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Dinosaurs.

Put this one in the category of Creepy Unintentional Self-Revelation because Mallard just admitted he believes that crimes which specifically target a victim because of their race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation are natural instincts.

That damned Electorate

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Americans.

To increase the level to which our electorate is informed, or at least correctly informed, all we have to do is disqualify Fox viewers.

That damned Talk Radio

What's Mallard raving about today?

Talk Radio, Incivility.

Excuse me? Kids?

The Republican Party has a voter identification of between 18-22% among any demographic that could reasonably be referred to as "kids."

That damned Civility

What's Mallard raving about today?

Civility.

Oh, look. Mallard is cribbing from The Lockhorns now.

It's rather rich for the killers to bemoan the death of their victim.

That damned Asterisk

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fox, President Obama.

Travel day from hell for me, but at least now I don't have to go find the article which disproved this lie, since Kip W put the link in yesterday's comments.

So, yeah, here's how an 8% bump lie happens, with an actual useful link rather than an asterisk to "Since 'War' Began - AP"

Nice way to commemorate Veteran's Day, Mallard. I'm sure all those brave folks who fought in an actual war really appreciate your efforts.

That damned obsession

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox.

President Obama, on Fox: "I think what our advisers have simply said is that we are going to take the media as it comes, and if media is operating, basically as a talk radio format, then, that's one thing, and if it is operating as a news outlet, then that's another, but it's not something I'm losing a lot of sleep over."

Mallard, on Obama, on Fox: "Blaaaaaaaaaargh!" Repeat until becoming a candidate for Most Interminable Series.

But, the President is the one who is unhinged. Right.

That damned attack

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fox, Rahm Emmanuel, President Obama.

Of course not, they were too busy fluffing President Bush.

And, as someone who found themselves part of a group which was routinely attacked by Fox as a "terrorist sympathizer" by virtue of my political positions, I find today's Mallard Fillmore the most hypocritical horse crap imaginable.

That damned Racism

What's Mallard raving about today?

Racism, Liberals.

Weird. Because I heard from the world's foremost authority that Racism was dead.

Those damned quotes

What's Mallard raving about today?

Rush Limbaugh, CNN.

I have to agree with Mallard on this one. Who needs to make up quotes for the leader of the Republican Party when, caught passing along a hoax about President Obama he defends himself saying: "But we know he (Obama) thinks it."

Limbaugh and Mallard in a nutshell: it's easy to attack someone when you also make up what they think out of whole cloth.

That damned Strategy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fox, President Obama.

Backfired, eh?

Wooo, indeed.

That damned legitimacy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fox, President Obama.

Right. Because that is what separates Fox from other news channels. Nothing to do with promoting Teabagger parties. Nor to do with pushing lies about things like death panels. Or actively rooting for the President to fail.

Nope, nothing to do with that.

Frankly, I fail to see what the kerfuffle is about. The White House says that it will treat Fox as if it were the Opposition Party and only go on Fox with that understanding. Fox Viewers, like Mallard, actively want Fox to reflexively gainsay everything the President does because this reinforces their pre-conceived world view. Seems like they both agree. So what's the problem?

That damned style

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Mallard, I defy you to cite one proven example of Chicago-style politics involving President Obama.

I'll wait.

Those damned Meanies

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox.

The White House Communications staff simply pointed out what everyone else already knows, which is that Fox is the most ideologically-biased network.

The White House Communications staff simply pointed out that they will treat Fox for what they are, which is an arm of the opposition party, and go on the network with that firmly in mind.

Fox then declared that this was a declaration of war against Fox.

Poopy-pants, indeed.

That damned quagmire

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox.

Much like the other wars started by Neocons, Fox seems to believe that declaring they are winning this "war" over and over is the surest path to victory, actual results be damned.

Now, I could go on about this topic, however I think the definitive smack-down has already been applied, so I will simply refer to it.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
For Fox Sake!
www.thedailyshow.com
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That damned juice

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals.

I am assuming this is Mallard's answer to the question: "Why does {group I disagree with} hate America so much?"

And, even leaving aside the stupidity of the premise, this is a stupid take on a stupid premise.

All of which makes Mallard...well, you may draw your own conclusions.