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Sunday, March 21, 2010

That damned book

What's Mallard raving about today?

Spring, Al Gore.

It's dark outside right now! The sun has gone away forever!

I would ask whether Mallard is stupid enough to actually believe that this constitutes critical thought.

But he amply demonstrated recently that you can't really go wrong underestimating his intelligence.

So, yeah, he is that stupid.

30 comments:

GeoX said...

If global warming is real, how come it got slightly chilly this evening? Answer THAT, Mr. So-Called Scientists!

Tog said...

"The movie 'The Day After Tomorrow' is silly! Therefore, global warming isn't real! FLAWLESS VICTORY! Wank! Wank! ...Oh, wait, haven't I been saying it IS real, just caused by cow poots or a meanie face on the sun but not people? Hang on, I gotta figure out a way to bullshit this together..."

Ducky is Right said...

Robins and polar bears live in the same place?

exanonymous said...

Al Gore is not a scientist. Al Gore does not conduct research. Al Gore makes movies, speeches, apparently operas, all of which do not constitute proof of global warming. What Al Gore says is not the holy gospel of global warming, but his understanding of the research and attempts to educate others.

Deliberately ignoring the peer-reviewed articles, actual research, and panels means that I can safely declare conservatism is dead with the same logic because Reagen is dead.

Paul Smecker said...

I might be wantin' a dick to suck with my coffee.

Bill the Splut said...

Make sure to always say "global warming," and not "global warming causes climate change"! That way you can pretend that Washington DC getting more snow than New England less than a month ago, or the fact that a few days ago it was 15 degrees warmer in northern Connecticut than it was in Florida is NORMAL! Also keep pointing out that it gets cold in the winter, while ignoring every winter keeps getting warmer! Alcohol must make me immortal, because I haven't died yet!

Wasn't this strip a Steely Dan song? "Hello IQ Nineteen"?

WV: hylar; as in "Global warming deniers would be hylar-ious, if they weren't dooming us all to keep oil company profits from declining from 'obscene' to merely 'ridiculous'."

kris said...

Oh no! The 'Warmers' won't care for this.

Former President Bill Clinton speaking in Washington to the annual Gridiron Dinner last night mocked Al Gore by saying: The start of Spring "is otherwise known to Al Gore as proof of Global Warming." I almost miss the years of Bill Clinton.

Tog said...

"Bill Clinton riffed on Al Gore! See? There's no global warming! Haw! Haw!"

Krissy neglects to mention that Bill Clinton also mocked himself, the impending death of Richard "The Dick" Cheney, and many other topics during this routine. Because Krissy thinks we "Warmers" can't read on our own. Because Krissy doesn't understand jokes. Because Krissy is a drooling, Sarah-Palin-grade moron.

Scientific consensus: a term Krissy cannot grasp.

Steve-O said...

So a robin shows up in the arctic and sees a polar bear on the first day of spring and this somehow disproves global warming? I don't think I can say this any more forcefully,

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING BRUCE!

Factinista said...

Bill Clinton makes an honest-to-goodness joke and the loons say he's bashing Al Gore. More proof the right can't comprehend humor.

kris said...

Tog - you need to get a grip and a life. I was correct when I said "the 'Warmers' won't care for this."

Nick said...

The Democrats ObamaCare Death Wish. The Democrats are putting Obama the man ahead of their own Constitutional obligations, and their own careers...KaBoom!

Unemployment will surely rise among the Democrat ranks in Washington this November.

doubleyou-tee-eff said...

Bill The Splut: It wasn't "Hello IQ Nineteen". It was "Hey IQ Nineteen". Sex Pistols had a song on a similar subject that was called "IQ Seventeen".

Tinsley's repeating himself. Which is no surprise. Nor is the argument he uses to repeat himself. Which is no surprise.

CW in LA said...

Hey Nick the Racist Prick:

It's throat-ramming time - OPEN WIDE!

Paul Smecker said...

I just might be wantin' a bagel with my coffee.

exanonymous said...

ZOMG, Bill Clinton made a joke about Al Gore! The global warming thing is obviously a hoax.

Except I don't actually care. Bill Clinton is also not a scientist. And the jokes were aimed at just about every democrat. So I guess this kris guy is right on a technicality.

GeoX said...

Well, given that the entire raison d'être of right-wingers is "work ourselves up into a homicidal rage over every tiny thing," it's no wonder that they aren't able to understand when we don't operate in the same way. Hey--if they weren't a little slow, they wouldn't be wingers.

Bill the Splut said...

It wasn't "Hello IQ Nineteen". It was "Hey IQ Nineteen"

DAMN! I need to do more research!
(drains bottle of Beam)

Tog said...

you need to get a grip

It's actually quite illustrative of the utterly dependent, reactionary, incapable-of-original-thought, "NO U" mindset of the neocon tool that KrisNicky uses the word "grip" in response to my post, the last word of which was "grasp."

No wonder clowns like KrisNicky are so easily led around by the nose (and the RNC's released memos to that effect).

I was correct when I said "the 'Warmers' won't care for this."

Well, no, not even close; it would be more accurate to have said we won't care ABOUT it. We're just having fun using you for a pinata, full of crap rather than candy.

Kip W said...

Our righties assume we lie, so it's okay for them to lie too. In advance, if possible. They assume we will fly into a rage on hearing that somebody told a joke because they would do the same. It's the form of fairness known as 'projection.'

enjoytheramming said...

Come on, Nick. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off calling congressmen "nigger" and "faggot" right now?

dlauthor said...

Hey, look what just passed in the House.

The pederast trolls won't care for this.

GeoX said...

Don't worry--I'm sure that, in spite of having previously been all "BWAHAHA OBAMACARE IS DOOMED! DOOOMED! SUCK IT, LIBZ," trollypoo will be able to muster a rousing "BWAHAHA! BY PASSING OBAMACARE, YOU SEALED YOUR OWN DOOM! DOOOOM! SUCK IT, LIBZ!" It's easy to argue when you're not constrained by reality or logic or what you said five minutes ago!

Not THAT Anonymous said...

Uh-oh! I'm confused. Has America been abruptly transformed into a Socialist state now, or a Fascist one? You know, now that it's joined Canada, Europe, and all those other axis-evil dictatorships where people are able to obtain health care they need?

And will Bruce be moving?

Kip W said...

The temperature today went up... and then DOWN. But if my caricature of gloal warming is true, temperatures can only go up and then UP.

Denial: 1, Reality: 0!

Rootbeer said...

In my part of the country, the early-spring weather has been unseasonably warm for most of the past week, with highs into the 70's.

Perhaps the author his mistaken the DT's for cold-weather shivers.

wavydavy said...

What Ducky said.

Also, as Rootbeer observes, how come the fact that is was 77 degrees in NYC Saturday -- in March! -- didn't cause all these morons to run around saying "Eek! Global warming is for real!"?

I guess because that would require maintaining a consistent thought. And we all know our wingnut brethren don't do either "consistent" or "thought".

Anonymous said...

Wow, vastly over-simplifying and mis-characterizing the statements of AGW skeptics sure makes it easy to sound smart! They think the earth is getting darker just cause the sun sets. Stupid right-wingers!

GeoX said...

Um..."if there's global warming, then why is it cold out?" is something they--YOU--constantly "argue." They--YOU--really are that stupid.

Kip W said...

Anonymous is right! Simple-minded caricatures of opposing viewpoints are the exclusive domain of the deniers and has been since know-it-all eggheads suggested a heliocentric solar system.

Fortunately for us, a simple recital of their beliefs and arguments does more to demolish them than making anything up about it ever could.

(Hey, Anonymous! Let's see your birth certificate. I have a bet you were named after your dad. Last name 'Donor,' right?)