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Saturday, March 13, 2010

That damned composure

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sex Education, The Media

Opposition by a few industry-funded scientists is enough to outweigh overwhelming scientific evidence of man-made climate change.

The self-evidence of abstinence-based sex education's effectiveness is so overwhelming that no citation is needed to back up the claim of its success.


Beef Wellington said...

I'm going to have nightmares due to the fact thatn in this pannel both the word sex and a ducks crotch are present.

Just say no to beastality tinsley.

Iron Dragon said...

Well, I could see the idea of wanting to maintain their composure given how abysmal abstinence based sex education tends to be. Areas where abstinence based sex ed is the norm you tend to see greater degrees of teen pregnancy and abortion. And before anyone argues culture or anything else as being the underlying cause, maybe they're right and maybe they're wrong, but it doesn't change the underlying flaw in abstinence based sex ed.

However, THe Onion does a better job explaining it.

Tog said...

I assume Mallard's watching FOX "News" then?

Because I figure "maintain our composure" is just FOXspeak for "lie with a straight face."

...Which usually isn't a challenge for FOX "News," but this might be a bit much even for them.

NLC said...

Perhaps it's because it happens so rarely, but I'm always confused when Tinsely changes topics... why is Mallard suddenly doing a strip about the underlying causes of child sexual abuse by priests?

dlauthor said...

A strip that references sex and minors. Anonyrast is going to be chafed for weeks after he's done reading this one.

John Ball said...

He's referring to the widely-reported success of a program that encouraged abstinence--as well as condom and other safe sex practices. In point of fact, the media trips over themselves to potray these as triumphs of "abstinence programs" despite they are no such thing.

Kip W said...

Abstinence plus condoms. Hey, that's gotta work!

And don't underestimate those Fox guys. They get hours of training, regular refreshers, and a carefully calibrated cocktail of narcotics so that they won't choke on their giggles when they read what's on those prompters. They make Buster Keaton look like Giggles McSnort.

I hate chuck asay said...

Our minds place plausible, veracious arguments in our long-term memories, and questionable ones in short-term memories. Authority figures, parents, teachers, etc, are considered to be trustworthy sources, thus, their messages tend to be ignored until we grow older. Parents who do not wish to have their children engage in certain activities should not condemn such behavior, but say something like, "I will not punish you for engaging in them, but, please, if you do, know the risks and do not do so excessively.

Sex, these days, is quite safe if done properly. We have condoms, and, in the very-unlikely case that those fail, safe abortions, and medicines--even A.I.D.S. has a variety of increasingly-powerful drugs, and increasing lifespans. Abstinence is a relic of the time when these things did not exist, and fucking was a game of Russian Roulette. We should bury Puritanical attitudes about fucking, under what should be the corpses of censorship, and Objectivism--but not racism, because, despite what Tinsley says, man is hateful, and stupid, that racism will never die.

Bruce "Anonymous" Tinsley, yesterday, complained that we use redundant insults--how ironic, since he is about as pedantic as Carlos Mencia, Jeff Dunham, The Irate Gamer, Tim "Fuckley" and Dennis Leary put together--so here is a new insult that is perfect for this comic:

You deserve to be fucked up the ass with a rusty screwdriver that is infected with tetanus and A.I.D.S.

Word Verification: Tenagnia, a horrible S.T.D. contracted by teenagers who are not taught to use condoms.

I hate chuck asay said...

Addendum: Tinsley's mind never produces, or stores anything, anywhere.

Word Verification: Pectrin, a medicine that Tinsley uses to fight his Alzheimer's, because he is extremely old.

rewinn said...

Tinskley uses the weasel-word "abstinence-BASED" instead of "abstinence-ONLY" so that he can pretend to be telling his conservative readers that he's supporting their ignorance-based, sex-education-without-the-education programs, without actually lying.

This wouldn't fool any of the nuns who taught me at St. Mary Magdalen School (not a made-up name ... it really was and is called that.) Sister Mary Margaret always said that if you said something that might be literally true in such a way that you meant to convey an untruth, that was a lie. And God hates lying.

No wonder Brewski drinks. He's got God AND the nuns mad at him.

Paul Smecker said...

I might just be wantin' a bagel with my coffee.

Marion Delgado said...

Has it been established why the one troll always spams this blog with "coffee and a bagel?"

WV: prove

I can prove WV doesn't always use made-up nonsense words.